Marilyn

Fantastic work! But I understand your frustration with the reference, software, etc. I agree, and knowing your skills, I know you can improve on this, and you've come so far, it seems worth it not to give up until you're happy with it, which is what matters.
As far as how to improve it, what jumps at me is the fact that you have blended areas to point where it looks too soft, and sharpened others to a point where they look way to hard. The result is a lack of harmony and the feeling of a picture "cut out with scissors", lacking volume in some areas and appearing "puffy" as you say on others, like the face.
Don't be afraid to allow paint strokes to show. Hyper-blending is a sign of self-consciousness or trying to hard to get a "realistic effect". Nothing looks so blended in reality unless you are looking through foggy glasses. But then everything looks blurred. The same applies to the opposite and hyper sharpness. Anyway I know you have the skills to improve on this already promising project. Good luck!